Armchair Travel
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
  A World Without Aunts and Uncles? Unthinkable!
One of our great new GoNOMAD writers, Moumita Deb, wrote about how often Chinese people told her how lucky she was to have a girl and a boy. I think, really, they were saying how lucky she was to have more than one child.

If the one-couple / one-child rule is enforced over several generations, do you know what that means? No brothers and sisters, therefore no uncles and aunts, and, therefore, no cousins! To me, that's a very barren landscape.

According to my favorite mystery writer, Tony Hillerman, it is Navaho uncles and aunts who provide what we might call primary parenting to their nieces and nephews.

Now, I am not now, nor have I ever been, in a position to offer advice to the Chinese people. I'm sure they are doing what you or I might think of: that is, adopting unrelated nieces and nephews.

Kids need people in that position: people who knew their parents when they were just as young and vulnerable as they now find themselves. Adults who actually act as friends and take their side and temper the absolutes of parental judgment.

I just had a wonderful visit with the most wonderful aunt and uncle anyone ever heard of, my Uncle Nat and Aunt Valerie, and I thought of all their kids, my cousins, who are so dear to me, generally speaking, and I give thanks and wonder what life would be like without aunts and uncles and cousins.
 
Comments:
In Chinese language class, we learned that children tend to call people their parents' ages "uncle" and "aunt." It seems to give an extended family feel to the neighborhood, but I'd never thought of your point about the younger Chinese not having uncles and aunts.

At our hotel in China we met six-year-old who wanted to tell us all the English words she knew. I gave her a little packet of stickers I'd brought along for just that chance. Next day-- knock at the door, husband answers and a small voice says, "Ayi ne?" (Where is auntie?) I melted.
 
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Literary gadfly Stephen Hartshorne writes about books that he finds at flea markets and rummage sales.

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Stephen Hartshorne worked in newspapers and magazines around New England for many years and served as Information Officer in the New Hampshire Senate under Senate President Vesta Roy. He worked as a material handler for nine years at the Yankee Candle Company until the company was taken over by corporate weasels. He is currently the associate editor of GoNOMAD.com, an alternative travel website, which gives him the opportunity to correspond with writers and photographers all over the world. He lives in Sunderland, Massachusetts, with his daughter Sarah, a student at Drew University, and their cat, Dwight D. Eisenmeower. This blog is dedicated to his mom, who made him bookish.

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